Proof that Mommy has too much free time.

As you can see, the recent push toward potty training is not going so well at my house...

I mean really, who's got time to sit down and go potty? I'm much too busy for all that silliness. Do they make Huggies in a XXL?

I'm lovin' it.

Key theme music. Bah da ba ba ba.

So, today, I got beat up by a pretty little girl at McDonald's PlayPlace. But really, that's more the end of the story. Let me start from the beginning.

Mommy and Daddy both had the day off from work, and Daddy asked me what I wanted to do today. I told him I wanted to go to "My Donald's" and eat ketchup. So they took me to the best My Donald's in the world - the one with the indoor PlayPlace!

Everything started out just fine. I played and Daddy watched me while Mommy went to get my ketchup. There was some more food, too, but really the ketchup is all that matters. Then I sat nicely and ate all my lunch.

After that was when it all started to go downhill.

After I ate, I got to go play again. I climbed up in the big tube, and Mommy and Daddy waited, and waited, and waited and waited... I was up there FOREVER! Then I burst out of the slide and ran over to my Daddy and told him this:

"A little girl pushed me up, and pushed me down, and hit my nose."

My nose was a little red. Daddy stood there and waited for the little girl to come down so he could speak to her about playing so roughly with me (after all, I'm only 2 and a half). She came down and I pointed and yelled "Right there! Right there!"

When Daddy saw her, he started to laugh. Can you believe that? Apparently it's ok to let little girls who are younger and smaller than you to beat up.

Doesn't really seem fair to me, though.

Anyway, soon after that, Mommy appeared with a Caramel Sundae and all was well again.

But I can tell you this. Going to My Donald's really wears a kid out.

I like to pretend.

My new favorite game is "pretend." I like to pretend all sorts of things, like that I'm taking a nap. See my new red blankie? (It's really Mommy's kitchen towel, but don't tell her.)

I also like to play the "I'm Daddy, You're Mommy" game with Mommy. Here's how it goes:

Daddy (me): "Hi Mommy."

Mommy: "Hi Daddy."

Daddy (me): "Makin' lunch?"

Mommy: "Sure Daddy. What do you want?"

Daddy (me): "Some sammich, please."

Mommy: "Ok, Daddy. I'll make you a sandwich."

Daddy (me): "I go to work now, ok?"

It's hours of fun, really. Sometimes Mommy's eye twitches a little when we play, but I think she really enjoys it, too.

An open letter to the Bounty Corporation.

Dear Bounty Paper Towels,

Why do you always have to ruin all my fun? It's a lot of work to get this dirty.

But it only takes seconds for Mommy or Daddy to come along with one of your paper towels with it's "quicker picker upper" action and ruin it all.

Mommy says she will only buy Bounty because she likes the select-a-size thing. She says I usually rate 5 or 6 with my typical messes, and 8-10 with the chocolatey ones.

But anyway, my point here is to ask you to please go pick on someone else for a while. Let a kid have some fun, will ya?

Love, Zackie

Blazer's Fun Zone: $5. My squeals of laughter: priceless.

Today, Mommy and Daddy took me to the most amazing place in the world. It's called Blazer's Fun Zone, and man, when these folks name a place, they don't lie. It was FUN! They had a bouncy house, and several big giant slides... Mommy wasn't very good at the slides (she sort of wallowed off a few times), but Daddy was! We rode them over and over. And, on the way home, I figured out that we were only MINUTES from our house! I guess we'll have to go every day.

This is what happens when Mommy doesn't watch me closely enough (i.e. No Blinking, Mommy!)

Consolation prize.

This is how Mommy distracted me when Daddy left the house without me yesterday:

I seem to have a few ambidextrous tendencies. Daddy and Aunt Barbie, you guys might have to teach me how to use scissors someday...

Note the fierce concentration here. I'm completely devoted to my craft.

But as you can see, sometimes Art=Suffering. Since I'm now an official creative genius, I may need to add in an extra naptime. Making the world beautiful is pretty hard work.

Crash test dummies.

My Granny got me this cool new helmet, so I figured the right thing to do would be to wear it and to practice crashing into things. I mean, after all, she went to all that trouble for me, it seemed like the least I could do. My favorite thing to crash into is my Daddy. He's not quite as thrilled with the new game as I am, but he's at least accepting of it...

Choo-choo!