Chopsticks = Drum Sticks?

Mommy says that it's important to honor my heritage and to learn to use chopsticks, so she got me this cool pair to use. But I'll have to tell you, chopsticks are HARD! I keep trying and trying to pick up my food with them, but I can't seem to get it right. Oh well, I'll just use them for to bang on things. After all, I'm already better with them than Uncle Gary is...

The "Clean" Gene

Apparently the gene that makes you want to clean all the time must skip generations, because my Granny and I sure have it, but if the truth is known, Mommy and Daddy do not. For Christmas, my Granny got me my most favorite present. It's a REAL VACUUM! It makes noise, and lights up, and it really picks up dirt! I've been trying to get this house cleaned up a little bit. It's still a mess (Mommy and Daddy tend to leave things all over the place) but I'm trying hard to make it sparkle.

Colors!

Mommy and Daddy and I have been playing the "Name that Color" game every day for weeks. I think I've got them all down pretty well, but occasionally, Mommy still gets blue confused with blue-green. Daddy and I help her out, though. Daddy says not everyone can be born with our sense of style and our eye for color, and that it's our responsibility to help others who don't have our gifts.

Loves music, loves to dance.

Look out Jerry Lee Lewis. There's a new Killer in town!

This about sums up my day...

Merry Christmas Everybody!

This blog is about to get really interesting...

Because Mommy got a video camera for Christmas. Watch me go!

Elmo's New Diaper

I'm getting pretty skilled at the whole potty thing, and sometimes I don't want to put my diaper on for Mommy. I mean really, what's the point? I know how to pee pee in the potty, so I guess I don't need one anymore, right?

WRONG!

Mommy told me that even Elmo needs his diaper at night time.

Maybe she's right (but don't tell her - it might go to her head).

Night night everybody!

Christmas comes early!

I think I like this whole "Christmas" thing. It seems like wherever I go, I'm getting presents!

Yesterday, Miss Sieglinde, my baby sitter, gave me these cool new shoes. They have Spiderman on them, and best of all, THEY LIGHT UP WHEN I WALK! Can you believe that?

Today, Miss Otis, who is my friend from Mommy's work, sent me this really neat Santa Teddy. He rides his tricycle around and sings Christmas carols, and I've had the best time chasing him tonight! Hmmm... I wonder what I'll get tomorrow?

Potty time success!

In case there are any other little kids out there who are trying to learn to use the potty, I have developed a few "Potty Tips For Success."

1. Take off all (and I do mean all) of your clothes before going to the potty. I have found that clothes are a distraction, and I prefer to be buck naked before I go potty.
2. Whenever you need to go, you must yell "Pee pee potty! Pee pee potty!" at the top of your lungs as many times as it takes for someone to acknowledge you. It doesn't really matter where you are when the urge hits. Target, the grocery store, wherever, just yell it as loud as you can.
3. Before actually sitting on the potty, you must arrange the potty JUST SO. This can take up to 4-5 minutes.
4. You MUST close the bathroom door. Even if Mommy forgets, you MUST get up and close the door before going to the potty.
5. After using the potty, you must clap and yell "Yeah!' and everyone else who is nearby must do that too. Even the UPS guy who thought he was just here to deliver a package.
6. It helps to know who else can use the potty at your house. Ask questions like "Mommy pee pee potty?" "Bobby pee pee potty?" "Cat pee pee potty?" "Elmo pee pee potty?"

Hopefully these tips will help you on your way to potty success. If so, a small donation would not be out of line. I'm just a kid trying to make a living, you know...

Real men wear sparkles, too.

My Daddy bought me these pajamas, and I think I look pretty cute in them. They're baby blue, and they have sparkly "Dots" on them. They also hang off my shoulders a la "Flashdance." There's even a matching hat, that I save for really, really special occasions. Mommy says that they're probably for little girls, but Daddy and I like things that are shiny. 'Nuff said.

Pillaging is a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.

Sometimes when Mommy and Daddy put me down for a nap, and I'm not sleepy yet, I like to do a little rearranging in my room. Yesterday, Mommy and Daddy heard lots of crashing and banging right after they put me down for a nap.

When they came upstairs to check on me, this is what they saw. Well, a kid's gotta recharge SOMETIME...

Ho, Ho Ho!

For weeks, Mommy and Daddy have been telling me stories about this jolly fat man in a red suit who brings presents and says "Ho, Ho, Ho!" a lot. For a while I thought they were making it all up, but guess what? He's REAL! I went to visit with him today, and he was really nice. He asked me all about what I wanted for Christmas, and he really does say "Ho, Ho, Ho" alot. It's a good thing that Mommy and I have been practicing, because I said it right back to him. I even smiled at some random elf who had a camera. An elf with a camera. What will they think of next?

Helping Mommy wrap Christmas presents.

Well, "Help" might be too strong of a word...

Wing Night!

Daddy loves to eat wings, but he's not very good at sharing. So the other night, I just sorta helped myself to some. I guess Mommy's aversion to eating things with bones is not hereditary.

Oh, Christmas Tree.

A few nights ago, Mommy and Daddy started what they called "Decorating for Christmas." I didn't really know what that meant, but here's what I can tell you about it. It makes Mommy grouchy and it makes her mutter stuff about "keeping up with the neighbors."

It means that Daddy has to climb up REALLY high in the foyer.

And most importantly, it means that Cat and I got a fun new box to play in. I'm not sure what's up with all this "Christmas" stuff, but it sure is fun!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I had lots of fun on Thanksgiving. Even though I wasn't feeling all that great, we still got to go visiting, and I got to see lots of people that I don't usually get to spend much time with.


This is me and my cousin Kallie. When we were at my Granny's house, Kallie and I played together and had lots of fun.


This is me and my Uncle Gary. At Grandma and Grandpa's house, I got to play with him. For some reason, though, I decided to call him Uncle Joe all night. I don't have an Uncle Joe, and everybody thought it was pretty funny when I called Uncle Gary that.

My first lesson on how to treat a woman.

Last week, Mommy and Daddy took me back to the play area in the mall, and I met Someone Special. She was cute, and sweet, and I fell in love. Sorry Hannah, Kinsey, Brittany and all the other girls I've loved before, but my new girlfriend stole my heart, then she stomped that sucker flat. I like to tell people what to do, so I tried it on my new Girl, but she wasn't having any of it. All my demands to "Sit Down, Baby!" were met with giggles, and her running off. It's just not fair. I met the perfect girl, and she has to have a mind of her own. Mommy and Daddy let me drown my sorrows in a bowl of ranch dip, but I'm still not sure I'm over her. Who knew love could be so hard?

Poor Mommy...

Poor Mommy has been trying for days to get "The Official Christmas Photo" to send out in Christmas cards, but I haven't been feeling very cooperative.

Sometimes I make silly faces at Mommy.

Sometimes I take my hat off.

Sometimes my hat is on too much.

And sometimes my fingers are stuck in places that fingers should not go.

Finally I let Mommy get a good picture... I AM pretty cute, huh?

Food, fun, prizes...

Let's be serious for a minute. There's something that I need to let you guys in on. It's come to my attention that I have, quite possibly, the very best Mommy and Daddy in the world. Because they took me to Chuck E. Cheese again this week! It's really heaven for a kid like me. There's pizza, rides, games, cute little girls, and great big talking mouses. Daddy taught me to say "Hey, Cutie!" to get the little girls' attention, and mommy let me drink as much as I wanted of the red fizzy drink that came out of the soda fountain. As far as fun days go, this one was most definitely in my top three...

Baby, it's cold outside.

It's too cold to play outside now, so we have had to move the playground inside. Luckily, Daddy's sweater also comes in handy as a cape! I can stay warm AND look good! My Daddy is teaching me well...

Oh, Dear.

This is the chair

that fell on my foot.

This is the ID bracelet that I got at the ER.



This is where I've spent most of my time the last few days, because it hurts to walk on my badly bruised (but not broken) foot.



This is how I get from one place to another now.


These are some of the things Mommy bought to keep me occupied. It's not working.

Happy Halloween!

This Halloween stuff is pretty cool. I got to dress up like a Ninja, and I got to go visit Granny, Aunt Barbie and Grandma and Grandpa! Plus, everywhere I went, I got candy. I got a little confused at Grandma and Grandpa's house, though, and tried to give it back. Oh well, It was still lots of fun. I think I'll do it again tomorrow.