In case there are any other little kids out there who are trying to learn to use the potty, I have developed a few "Potty Tips For Success."- Take off all (and I do mean all) of your clothes before going to the potty. I have found that clothes are a distraction, and I prefer to be buck naked before I go potty.
- Whenever you need to go, you must yell "Pee pee potty! Pee pee potty!" at the top of your lungs as many times as it takes for someone to acknowledge you. It doesn't really matter where you are when the urge hits. Target, the grocery store, wherever, just yell it as loud as you can.
- Before actually sitting on the potty, you must arrange the potty JUST SO. This can take up to 4-5 minutes.
- You MUST close the bathroom door. Even if Mommy forgets, you MUST get up and close the door before going to the potty.
- After using the potty, you must clap and yell "Yeah!' and everyone else who is nearby must do that too. Even the UPS guy who thought he was just here to deliver a package.
- It helps to know who else can use the potty at your house. Ask questions like "Mommy pee pee potty?" "Bobby pee pee potty?" "Cat pee pee potty?" "Elmo pee pee potty?"
Hopefully these tips will help you on your way to potty success. If so, a small donation would not be out of line. I'm just a kid trying to make a living, you know...
2 comments:
Zackie, your mommy is up to no good. She plans to save all of these pictures, and when you get a little older, she will show them to your girlfriend. We need to talk about this.
Don't worry, I'll help you.
Zackie, Barbie is right. I'll save all the embarrassing pictures your mommy puts on here as evidence, just in case you ever need them in the future. If they refuse to pay your therapy bills, we can get 'em.
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